


A Sickening Pair of Heels

by phantasticphun



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Swearing, sexual innuendo, yeah I was listening to Kinky Boots when I wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24797029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantasticphun/pseuds/phantasticphun
Summary: Dan orders his first pair of heels. Phil isn't surprised that he finally did, but rather he's surprised by Dan's choice.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 17
Kudos: 48





	A Sickening Pair of Heels

“Dan?” Phil calls from down the hall. “Dan what's this?”

Dan huffs and takes his laptop off of his thighs to sit it on the coffee table.

“Dan!” Phil yells again.

He grumbles and as he gets up to go to their bedroom, shouts back, “I'm coming! Jesus, wait a second.”

As he turns into the doorway, he is greeted by Phil looking perplexed, standing by the bed, and holding up a boot. It's not just any boot: it’s tall with a high heel, sparkly, and bright red.

Dan remembers right then that he ordered the boots a few weeks ago. He had found them online and they had caught his eye-- he figures that's their main purpose after all. The company was having a sale and, well, Dan had to admit that in the moment, he thought those boots were a very good deal.

“What the hell are these?” Phil asks and grabs the other boot in his left hand. He rolls his eyes and chuckles, observing them. “These are the least-Dan pair of shoes I've ever seen. I mean, maybe if they were black… How wine drunk were you when you bought these?”

Dan shrugs. “I wasn't drunk at all.”

“Then, what, was it four A.M.?”

He shakes his head. “I wanted a pair of heels.”

Phil’s smile dissipates and he says a quiet, “Oh.” He drops the boots back into their large box. “I'm sorry; I assumed it was some sort of, I don't know, a mistake or a joke or something. Or maybe you decided you were finally ready to be on YouTube again and you were going to make a video and these had something to do with it somehow.”

Dan shuffles over to the bed to take a proper look at the boots. They glitter in the afternoon light and they’re so horrible and gaudy in a way that makes Dan grin. “Nah.”

“I'm sorry.” Phil sounds sincere and oddly sad.

“No, don't be, really.” He picks one up. “Not the aesthetic I tend to lean towards, is it?”

Phil snorts. “No way.”

“And it's not like I've ever bought heels like these before. Or any heels, for that matter. Your confusion makes sense.” He begins to grin as he says, “Just wanted to... try something new.”

Phil cracks a smile. “Try new things?” 

“Yeah, try new things,” Dan repeats. “You know how in my coming out I said I'd be willing to try, I don't know, traditionally,” he makes air quotes, “‘feminine’ things?”

Phil nods. “Like makeup or…” He looks down at the box of boots on the bed. “Or heels.”

“Yeah. Well, here are some heels.”

“Good,” Phil says. “I want you to experiment all that you want to. And I want to support you every step of that process. I'm just surprised by your design choice, honestly. 

Dan snorts. “Well, all of them were a little... flashy. I got them from a shop for drag queens.”

Phil quirks an eyebrow. “Oh?”

He nods, laughing a little. “I'm a big boy, Phil. Not many cis women are six-three with feet as big as mine. That's what the shop is there for: pretty shoes for people with big feet and bulkier bodies.”

“Right. Honestly, I didn't know there was much of a demand for that.”

“Of course there is! Just maybe not in a very heteronormative mindset.” Dan begins to list groups as he counts on his fingers. “See, drag queens of course, larger women and non-binary people, tall nerds experimenting with gender roles…” 

Phil giggles. “I love queer people.”

Dan walks over to Phil and puts his arms over his shoulders. “We're queer people, bubby.” He has an enormous grin on his face.

“I know.” Phil lets his arms hug around Dan’s waist. “I love how you're able to get boots in just your size, that's all. Like, they're available.”

“Yeah, maybe the world isn’t always so awful. I’m able to order drag queen boots.” Dan sighs and then kisses Phil. He has no reason in particular, really, except that Phil is silly sometimes and Dan loves him endlessly for it.

“Also,” Phil says, voice low, “you're going to look terribly hot in them.”

Dan chortles. “Yeah, right. Because I know how to walk in heels right now. Stumbling around, shuffling, grabbing onto things, and risking twisting my ankles will be really sexy of me.”

Phil shrugs. “Boots or not, you're still Dan. You're always sexy to me.”

“Oh, sure, sure.” Dan snorts.

“It's true!”

“Oh really, when I'm feeling poorly and throwing up or drowning in my own snot?”

“You're still Dan, aren't you?”

“When I'm brushing my teeth and I spit toothpaste everywhere?”

“Still Dan.”

He detaches himself from Phil to say, “When I'm on the toilet taking a shit? Didn't know you were into that, Phil.”

Phil giggles. “Okay, maybe you're not always the sexiest, but no person ever is. I still love you and I'll support you always. You know that.”

Dan beams, his dimples deep. “I love you, too.”

Phil pecks Dan on the lips quickly and then says, “Alright I want to see some of this booty action.”

“Booty action?” Dan questions. 

Phil blushes and rolls his eyes. “Put on the boots, I mean.”

“I'll give you booty action if you want booty action, Phil.”

“You know that's not what I meant!”

Dan laughs. “I know, I know. I'm just teasing you. I'll put on the heels.”

Phil’s eyes flick between his boyfriend and the boots in the box. “Still, you're going to look so good.” 

Dan sits on the bed and begins to put on a boot. “I'm going to look like a wobbly intoxicated giraffe, but I'll still be your Dan.”

Phil smiles. “Good, I like Dan.”

He zips up the first boot. “I'll just be your Dan in heels.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: [@PhantasticPhun](https://phantasticphun.tumblr.com)


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